“Your art doesn’t belong to you as soon as you’ve shared it with the world. Your art belongs to others. Once you’ve understood this, you are an happy artist.” Nathan talked about it twice on stage but at the Ruby Lounge in Manchester, before the show, it went right through me and touched my heart, when at the detour of a talk, he said these words to me, listening to my fears and writer problems. I didn’t understand it until three shows later.
May 27th, after an 18-hour trip from London to Amsterdam, here I was. 6am, in the middle of an unknown town, yet, I was ready to surprise my friends and East of Eli. They weren’t expecting me until Cologne, the next stop on the EOE X Tour road. But fate, by Nathan’s hand, change the course of the day and the most surprised one ended up being me.
Fast forward to the end of the amazing show at Q-Factory, second encore, we are all high on music, Nathan came back, alone. He was scanning the audience, when his eyes fell on me. It was the moment, From Paris in 2017 to that night, Fate had led me toward this instant. From Nathan’s words in Manchester’s Airport to that night, Fate has prepared my words to become yours and not mine anymore.
One hand taken and I was on stage with the man, the artist, the father, I’ve always admired. In a second, I went from the random girl who writes poems on twitter to the “badass artist” presented by East of Eli. I was realising a dream, doing spoken poetry on stage, in front of an audience and the man who inspired me.
For a moment, I lived what I’ve always hoped for, searched for. At the end, after three minutes and ten seconds, I wasn’t someone else, I wasn’t different, I was still loving the same thing, admiring the same people and distrusting the same people and yet something had changed: The way people were looking at me had changed. Some were crying, some were smiling, others just went for a hug to thank me. Their words mixed with Nathan’s made me realise that my poetry could break barriers, could heal the pain and bring back smiles on people’s faces.
That night, East of Eli offered me the chance to feel the happiness and joy that I could offer to the world if I was ready to let go without fear or holding back my words and let them reach your heart as Nathan’s words reached mine.
May 27th will be soon inked forever on my skin. Until then it runs through my veins and invades my mind every time an obstacle on the road makes me feel like an imposter in this world.
—Tesla H. Wilde.
Ps: Noah, I didn’t forget my promise made in Amsterdam, I’m working on it! 😀
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